Sunday Sesh with TLG: would you like fries with that?

As a teen, I spent most of my maths lessons at Burger King (BK). Yes, it was Burger King back then, not Hungry Jacks. I argue that spending time at BK was not just a maths lesson in itself anyway, but a history lesson too.

You see I learned how to budget so that I could afford a snack each maths lesson, I learned how to quickly calculate whether upsizing was cost effective, I learned how to calculate the average amount of kilos I had gained over a period of time due to the calorie intake. All very helpful maths equations.

As far as history goes, I was there when the original BK chicken whopper was on the menu; I ate many of them. I learned that due to legal rights, BK had to change its licence in Australia to Hungry Jacks. This meant that I witnessed the death of the chicken whopper. It could also be considered a geography lesson as far as orienteering your way through the bush to get there, a social studies lesson considering the people you met there and an English lesson considering the debates we would have with teachers over missing school for BK.

I was in Drama with my friends once and we were bored, emotional and hungry. So instead of channeling this through acting, we declared to out teacher that we were going to BK.

‘BK?’ He had said. ‘You are supposed to be in class’. We argued our point and he said fine, can you get me a whopper. One of us quoted a price and our teacher raised his voice at us and said ‘if you whop my class, you can pay for my whopper!’

So yes I had spent a lot of time studying in BK.
I hate that I ate so much fast food as a teen. It caused me so many health problems but there seemed and still seems, to be so many great memories attached to fast food places.
Here are two!

I was with my best friend Hayley and we had whopped school for the day, we were at McDonalds on this occasion. We had no money and really wanted a cheeseburger but couldn’t afford it so we were just hanging out.

I said to her ‘I know! How about you flash your tits at the guy behind the counter and I’ll steal us two burgers’.
‘I know Tracie, how about you flash your tits, he’ll spend more time looking for them and I’ll steal the whole lot!’
Didn’t skip a beat, that girl. Not a beat.

On another occasion I was at home preparing myself for my very first date. I was about sixteen, and planning to get a quick and obligatory introduction with the parentals before running out the door.
I met my date at the door and let him in, mum and dad were polite and respectful, certainly on their best behaviour. All went well and I said goodbye and hurried us towards the front door.
‘I hope you’re taking my daughter to a fancy place for dinner tonight’. Naw dad caring about me – how lovely!

And then…

I mean if you’re fucking my daughter then she deserves a fucking nice burger, not a cheap cheeseburger. Have I made myself clear?’

I was at a loss for words and didn’t know what to say so I yelled out, ‘I’ll have fries with that!’ before running out the door.

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