Stealing Christmas

Fuck Christmas.

Can’t believe I said that but as far as embracing the christmas spirit goes, all I’ve had time to do is put up the tree. Didn’t even decorate it.

God, why is it so much effort to get from the car to the house.

Oh great, the dogs let themselves inside. Oh shit, the bird!

The cage is empty! What the hell? You’ve ripped up carboard all through the kitchen; and tinsel, up the hall and on the lounge; and…well, it looks good. Where is the bird?

Oh. There. Of course. Sitting in the Christmas tree. Why not?