Do yourself a favour. Scrape the remnants of celery (leaves and all), chili, shallots, broccolini and carrot – whatever you can find from the fridge and chop them up in to little pieces – Dexter style. None of this Julienne stuff. Hack hack hack!
Chop up some garlic and ginger or steal some from your housemate’s shelf in the cupboard. You can get away with this because who counts garlic cloves or ginger knobs?
I know – housemates do! I take that back. Just use your mouldy pieces that you keep pushing towards the back and be quick about it before they sprout limbs and before you know it you have a ginger garlic replica of Jesus and it is more than likely that your housemates believe in not one but many gods and they will win against you in any kind of vegetable-god shadow puppet play that occurs in the kitchen while you wait for your egg to boil in a separate pot of water.
Or two eggs if you like. Then hack up some chicken breast in to large pieces. (Hack hack hack!). Heat garlic and ginger in pot, add a bit of oil and salt – I use pink Himalayan salt – and the chicken. If you have Kecap Manis (sweet soy sauce) dress your combination in this while it cooks. If you don’t you can sprinkle brown sugar over the top and then after one minute add soy sauce. Add boiling water and more salt. Add more salt (can you tell I’m avoiding using stock cubes…?) and add more chili or in my case I had run out of chilli so I added tabasco.
Prepare glass rice noodles in boiling hot water and portion yourself some in a bowl. Peel your egg. In the case of it still being runny, squeeze it on top of your glass rice noodles. Allow time for retrieving dropped egg shell from bowl. Place a couple of cherry toms on your glass noodles and spoon mixture on top of it all in your bowl.
Eat with wooden chopsticks and plastic spoon you stole from Noodle King the other day when you bought that bag of prawn chips and ate it all to yourself. Add more salt.
If you are confused by this that is good because I don’t want you to follow this like a recipe. I want you to head in to the kitchen and see what you can create out of the mouldy veggies from your fridge. Be sure to let me know!