Caution – this post contains traces of poison.
As a writer, and, as a human, alive in the world, I have to constantly remind myself that I’m on a journey.
I’m sure that you do the same.
I’m taking this opportunity to remind myself that it was not the anti-climatic ending to Monty Python’s The Holy Grail, that was important, but in fact, the funny scenes throughout the movie.
So what is important about those funny scenes?
The dialogue. The physical comedy. The way it all intertwines in to an absurdist play.
Sometimes, I can’t help but think that there is a Black Knight on every bridge that I have to defeat. I’m running low on limbs right now, trying to hold myself on the edge of some kind of people infested snake pit, a wooden pole for a leg and remnants of my ego drooling from my mouth like some kind of vulgar anti-venom. I’m sick of people’s poisonous attitude: it numbs me and makes me feel dead on the inside.
But on the other hand, once you face an evil snake face to face, it strikes you, you get bitten, and fall in to that dark pit – I can’t help but think that maybe, you begin to build some kind of immunity.
How long did it take you to learn that if you have the choice to take the journey, you also get another choice: to choose not to confront the snakes?
And who are the snakes?
They slither in your souls, searching for a chance to strike at their vulnerable pray so that they can be content with their feed and then they show off their bellies lying in the sun before hibernating all during the cold period. As full as their bellies are – they are gutless.
I once* saw a psychologist whom during the session asked me a question related to this.
“Tracie what do you do when you feel cornered (in life’s snake pit)?
“Well, I say – Fuck It”.
She turned around so quickly and started fumbling for something. I panicked and started to breathe deeply, as she had suggested I should do if ever I felt anxious.
By the time I had settled myself and felt brave enough to look up, I noticed that she had set up a white board. She pulled out a large marker and wrote in large letters “Fuck It” with a big circle around it.
“Well, what forms of Fuck It are there, Tracie?”
According to some random links on Facebook by some of my friends, it has occurred to me that it could just possibly be that I’m an introvert. If the fear of having people steal my energy is so strong then it brings to life the possibility that someone might actually take my limbs!
So my only advice is this: for all you people out there who, like me, happen to end up in situations where other people poison you with shit or try to bring you down – take these one-liners which I have collected from friends and famous people.
Please, Embrace “Fuck It”. Why? Because it is normal to choose to say no. Plus underneath that cheap Black Knight costume is just John Cleese. And we all know he looks better dressed as a girl anyway.
“Sorry, I have to wash my hair.” – Hayley R., 199-something.
“I’m sorry, were you looking for a conversation or an audience because I’m all out of audience.” – Meg M., 2013.
“You (pause) are a fucktard.” – **Anonymous, 2013.
Hand them a business card that says, “YOUR NAME + THE REST IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.” Then just walk away. – Jacky Jones, 2013.
“I understand why you are the way you are” (wait for the “naw thanks”) “but it doesn’t necessarily mean I condone it.” – TLG, 2013.
“Lets meet as little as we can” – Shakespeare 16-something (now that’s a classic Fuck It.)
Got any more?
*A few times…