What I’ve learned from watching 376 episodes of forensic files:
Don’t be alone out at night
Don’t be a woman alone out at night drunk
Don’t be a woman out alone at night on drugs
Don’t be a woman out with friends who leaves early sober, on drugs, or drunk
Don’t be a stripper to support university student life
Don’t be a white woman alone out at night
Don’t be an Asian woman alone out at night
Don’t be a Hispanic woman alone out at night
Don’t be a black woman alone out at night
Don’t be any of these women working late, or the early shift
Don’t be a woman alone out late at night
But also don’t be a woman alone at home in bed asleep
Don’t be a woman.
Don’t marry a rich gay man and keep it covered up
Don’t ignore insurance policies taken out on you
Don’t put up with a husband or wife who doesn’t understand divorce
Don’t get divorced
Especially if you have kids
And an insurance policy
Or many policies
Even if you don’t know it
Don’t date anyone
Don’t marry anyone
Don’t befriend a stranger
Don’t form relationships with anyone.
Don’t pull your car over
You can’t beat them in a physical fight
You can win in the end by leaving fingernails and skin cells in their car and on their being
But who really wins in the end
It is dead persons talk
Dead people talk
Everything tells a story
Tyre marks, fingernails, footprints, dog hair, shrugged off ciggy butts, empty cups, follicles, spit, vomit, sperm, blood and sweat
Fingerprints are telling, they point even from the dead hand.
Don’t be at the wrong place at the wrong time
Don’t be a white man with a beard at the wrong place at the wrong time
Don’t be walking by the crime scene at the wrong time
Don’t be a black man walking by the crime scene
Don’t be a black man cycling by the crime scene
Don’t be a black man out late at night
Don’t be a black man.
There could be a twin
You can get DNA from siblings and parents
Even if it’s old
Even if it’s little
Even if it’s stuck in obscure places
It will be found
It will be used.
That old drum that you found when you bought the place has a body in it
That place you bought was cheap because they found a body in it
The car you drove to the sale was cheap because it had a body in it.
Pace makers tell time of death
Witnesses have blind spots
Posters are clues
Cops get creative
Cops do the dirty
Shells match up
Dog hair saves lives
Lands and grooves and kurls are puzzle lines waiting to connect that body found in the ridge with its rightful grave.
Is it the science?
Is it Peter’s voice?
Is it my obsession with death?
Is it the cold hard truth of the world, of human nature?
Is it a warning to distrust?
Is it the closure?
What is it about this show that helps me fall asleep peacefully each night?
Is it a friendly reminder not to fear my dreams, my mind, for reality is far more scary?
How do I even finish this?
Don’t be a human?
Shut up and cuddle someone.